Please read on:

10 - Kia-Ora
Too orangey for crows! What isn’t?

9 - Heineken (1985)
The water in Majorca… Back when Heineken felt the utter shite they used to sell in the UK was acceptable. You know, the nasty stuff we used to get before they decided to grace us with the rather decent export stuff.

8 - Scotch Video Tapes (1986)
A skeleton describes the benefits of a Scotch video tape purchase. A life time guarantee? He’s fucking dead, what does he care? Don’t see much of Scotch video tapes these days, do you? Hopefully their bold claims bankrupted them.

7 - Trebor Softmints
Mr Soft. Get the man a Viagra, I say.

6 - Milky Way Advert
The red car and a blue car had a race. The blue car won, obviously - because the red car was a fat bastard. That’s the message I took from it, anyway.

5 - PG Tips - A Question of Taste Advert (1994)
This advert was a lot like a Sunday afternoon in my family home when I was a child.

4 - Umbongo
It’s taken me a while, but I’ve begun to accept that maybe they don’t drink Umbongo in the Congo after all. I thought they weren’t allowed to lie in adverts? Someone contact the ASA, prompty.

3 - Monster Munch (1986)
Quality advert. Watch out for the new Monster Munch packets that have original packaging and old sized Monster Munch crisps.

2 - Chewits (1986)
If this doesn’t make you go out and buy some Chewits now, you are an idiot.

1 - Charley Says Always Tell Your Mummy…
The classic public information film sampled by The Prodigy in their classic hit… Charley. The Alley Cat Mix is obviously being the best mix. The stranger one is better though. The matches one is probably better as well. Charley was clearly the brains of the operation.

I’ve written a few capsule reviews that you may find interesting:

The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl by Belle de Jour

Good. I enjoyed this book. It was - maybe unsurprisingly - an interesting insight in to the intimate adventures of a London call girl. I only read it because I fancy Billie Piper, I must add. Nothing really happens though. Well, apart from call girl type activities.

Read more reviews at Amazon

Lost Souls by Neil White

Okay. This book entertained me for a week while I was on holiday in Cyprus with some friends for a wedding. It’s the archetypal fasted paced thriller that is difficult to put down. The two main characters are a couple. Their investigations obviously overlap with hilarious consequences, except the consequences aren’t that hilarious which is a little disappointing. It’s angle is essentially precognition of murders which is quite interesting but ultimately, is obviously bollocks. Good book to read on holiday when your reading will be interrupted and you don’t want to think too much.

Read more reviews at Amazon

An Utterly Impartial History of Britain: (or 2000 Years of Upper Class Idiots in Charge) by John O’Farrell

Very Good. I found this book very interesting and very funny. I looks back on the history of the ruling classes in what eventually became Great Britain. It’s suffers slightly as despite all the history that it has to work with the good Kings and Queens are essentially boring and because of that it does have some slow sections. The Tudors and Stuarts period is obviously a highlight as there were some mad buggers in charge. I recommend you give it a go even if you hated history in school. It’s a history book, yes, but the humorous delivery will often make you chuckle.

Read more reviews at Amazon

Although Youth Novels is more down tempo than either of their efforts, I’ll wager both Lily Allen and Kate Nash went home and had a little cry for their souls after hearing this album. The little Swedish pop pixie is even giving away a free album track on Last.fm called Dance Dance Dance so you can try before you buy.

The highlight for me is the track Breaking it Up. I recommend you give this album a hearing.

Buy? Lykke Li - Youth Novels.

Read on, it’s worth it, trust me.

30 - Alvin and the Chipmunks
Most annoying - but also catchy - kids TV intro ever.

29 - Around the World with Willy Fog
I think I watched the entire series about 3 times cause it was endlessly repeated on loop.

28 - Battle of the Planets
Don’t think I ever watched it, I know the theme though and it is immense.

27 - Bertha
“Berth, lovely Bertha, sometimes I think you’re a dream” - If only, eh? Working in that factory would be a right doss.

26 - Camberwick Green
Yes, technically this was from the 70s and I wasn’t alive. But if you can’t see past that, you have no soul. It’s Windy Miller!

25 - Charlie Chalk
You aren’t Elvis my friend, deal with it.

24 - Dangermouse
Oi Penfold! Funny at the time but let me tell you the insult really rather loses it’s charm when you now wear glasses yourself.

23 - Defenders of the Earth
Flash Gordon, obviously. The rest of them, what are their names? You don’t remember do you? They defended your Earth for so long as well. You should feel very bad.

22 - Dogtanian
One for all and all for one. Muskehounds are always ready, I think you’ll find.

21 - The Family Ness
Scotland as I remember it. We saw Ferocious Ness at the Hibernian game we went to. He appeared around lunch time and grabbed what could only be descried as a note or two.

20 - Funnybones
In a dark, dark town there was a dark, dark street… dark house then something about skeletons.

19 - Jamie and the Magic Torch
This is definitely Jamie Theakston, what other explanation do you have? That fat tongued idiot Jamie Oliver? Magic Torch? Is it free range? That is all the Jamie’s there are isn’t it?

18 - Jimbo and the Jetset
I trace my terror of flying back to this cartoon and it’s inept plane going by the name of “Jimbo”. He’s a liability in the sky, that boy.

17 - The Magic Roundabout
One for fans of hallucinogenic drugs. Pure and simple.

16 - Mr Benn
70s? Mr Benn. It’s Mr Benn, a shop keeper and so on.

15 - Fraggle Rock
“Dance your tears away! Worries for another day!”. That’s deep.

14 - Bananaman
Not to be confused with Bananarama. Easily done.

13 - Thundercats
I used to love Thundercats as I’m sure many of you did, but the one thing that always annoyed me was the moral message at the end. I’m here to enjoy myself. Oi, BBC! School ended at 3.

12 - He-Man
I had some of the toys for this - thanks Mum and Dad - including the different coloured, but basically identical panther things for both He-Man and Skeletor. I used to make them ride the wrong one. I’ll bet that confused them.

11 - Count Duckula
I don’t really remember what went on in this but, the intro is pretty special.

10 - Inspector Gadget
Go go Gadget <insert random body part here>. Of course it was his daughter that solved all the crimes as he - like all coppers - was inept.

9 - The Raccoons
Cyril Sneer was my hero at the beginning, but then mellowed out a bit and started being resonable. He lost all my respect then.

8 - Bagpuss
I don’t really remember watching Bagpuss, but as I recall my sister was all over it. Back in those days we only had one TV - apart from Marty McFly, obviously - so I must have heard it all the time. It’s no surprise I remember the theme tune then, although I was probably sat shitting in my nappy at the time.

7 - Superted
I’ve always feared the “spotty man” was a paedo.

6 - Button Moon
I once went to a fancy dress party as Mr Spoon. Ah, that was a good day.

5 - Pigeon Street
Every street is pigeon street these days.

4 - Postman Pat
Deeda Dat!

3 - Thomas the Tank Engine
Cue years of me looking at fat people and thinking “is he the fat controller?”. Turns out despite all their adventures, Thomas and his friends were still more reliable than First Great Western.

2 - Trumpton
It’s Trumpton! TRUMPTON!

1 - Trap Door
“Stay away from that trap door, because there’s something down there”. First shown in 1984. I’m probably 4. Stay away from what? I’m going to go down it, aren’t I? It’s just as well the house I grew up in didn’t have a monster in the cellar otherwise I could - through not fault of my own - be dead now. To be fair, the house I grew up in didn’t have a cellar, but that’s not the point I’m trying to make.

So there you have it. Did I miss out any of your favourites? Please let me know.

1. Define a var to hold the filename

   private $_tmpImageName;

2. Populate this in the beforeDelete() callback

   function beforeDelete() 
   {
       $this->_tmpImageName = $this->read(null, $this->id);
       return true;
   }

3. Then access it in the afterDelete() callback, with something like this:

   function afterDelete()
   {
       unlink($this->_tmpImageName['Image']['name']);
       return true;
   }

If you know of a better way, let me know.

Until recently however, none of them had any album artwork. For someone who likes to obsessively tag up all his MP3s this is hard to take. But after some frantic Googling, I found a repository of Fabric album artwork so all is again well in the world.

• Cypher from The Matrix is Ralph Cifaretto in The Sopranos
• Avoid angry people in the Quiet Carriage
• Other things I can’t repeat in a public place.

1. Obtain suit [Bought 7:45pm, Monday]
   
2. Obtain footware to wear with aforementioned suit [Wearing flip flops, obv]
   
3. Finish Java assignment [Completed 1:00am, Friday]
   
4. Wash clothes for holiday [Completed 11:00pm, Thursday]
   
5. Cook breakfast [Completed 10:57am]
6. Charge camera battery [Charging 11:11am] [Charged 12:37pm]
   
7. Charge iPod [Charging 11:23am] [Charged 12:35pm]
   
8. Get haircut [Cut 2:22pm]
   
9. Obtain suitcase [Bought 3:48pm]
   
10. Pack clothes and other shit in aforementioned suitcase [Packed 11:21pm]
    
11. Do the washing up [Clean 5:55pm]
    
12. Hoover [Hoovered 6:13pm]
    
13. Put bins out [Out 7:30m]
    
14. Put recycling out [Out 6:05pm]
    
15. Buy travel insurance [Insured 6:27pm]
    
16. Water plants [Watered 10:15am]
    
17. Pay council tax bill [Paid 11:21am]
    

Although, I can’t help but notice that the cricket starts at 11am. What odds I just sit and watch that all day?